Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Phobia

I have a really weird phobia. I'm terrified of ppl leaving mi physically and leaving on my own. Esp in a enclosed place. I haf e peculiar feeling of being "trapped". =s

Today, i did OT in my office. Gosh... i started to become nervous at 6pm(bright) when ppl started leaving for home one by one. I was losing concentration n i was v tempted 2 juz grab my bag n run home but i know i can't let my work acuminate.

Whenever someone gets up to leave, i thought to myself:
"oh shit, why am i still here?" *repeats*

By 6.45pm, less den 5 ppl remained. N i was real scared i tell u. =S

It's not dat there isn't nobody ard. One was seated nxt to mi. Another behind mi. I juz feel very very uneasy. Maybe i couldn't adjust to e sudden quietness or absence of ppl. I still felt "stifled" when i left e office building n it was already dark(7.30pm). I felt beta only when i entered a crowded train. Phew!

I dun tink it's loneliness cos i'm do enjoy doing tings on my own. Juz now, my colleague beside mi even tried 2 chat wif mi. But seriously, i wasn't in e mood.

I discovered i haf this phobia when i was yOung. My family n i were sort of "trapped" in a shopping centre near clOsing time. All of its exits were closed n we couldn't find our way out.

Bleah... i dun know whether everyone experiences what i'm experiencing but i do tink it's a phobia. =(

@ 11:45 pm